Friday, March 21, 2008

A Father's Love

It's been a looooong month for me emotionaly. I'm not sure how to even figure out why it has been so draining and daughnting.

I love Easter, it's my favorite holiday. It means a lot to me, the whole thing, means the world to me. What Easter is about to me is understanding that Jesus died for my sins, and then rose from the dead to be with our God until He returns once more. Pretty powerful stuff Right? Right!. I'm flabbergasted by His love for us. As I'm here in the flesh, things are extremly hard for me at times. Tons of stresses, tons of resposibilities and tons of things to get done and take care of. People to please daily and tons more people I seem to disapoint daily as well.
Dealing with my daily stresses can get to me, and this month, day after day, it came to a boiling point. Then I was no longer stressed but mad, mad at people, mad at myself and mad at God. I know, I know. I SOOOOOO KNOW!

Since I never had a great track record with an "Earthly Father", I learned long ago, the only father for me was my Lord God, He IS my Dad, and with that said, I can be mad, I can be, angry, I can through a fit if I need to. He love's me, he love's me no matter what, as I do my own children, right? right! I have yelled, and screamed and cried at Him and through it all He stands by me, supports me, and loves me. I look at Tod daily and how he interacts with his children and now little Livie and I am pleased to no end and also envious that I so wanted an earthly dad like him. Who wouldn't. So this is how I treat my Father, who told me, I am his child, his Love for all times. I treat him as he is my Father, my friend, and my everything. So when I'm mad, He knows it, when I'm sad, He also knows it. He hears me, He rewards me and other times, those unanswered prayers are EXACTLY what I needed.

As I through my fit and yelled and cried and screamed, I knew it would ok in the end.
He works on me everyday. Everyday He loves me. Even when I'm not so good.
Thank you Father for the ultimate sacrifice, thank you for loving me forever.